Friday, July 24, 2009


So i finally met with the kennis music bosses and this is what they told me,

9JAHIPHOP-what is the state of kennis music right now?your fans and the general public wants to know.
KEKE/D1-its all good,we are still doing our thing and we give thanks to God for where we are today.
9JAHIPHOP-it doesn't look like you guys are doing good right now,if you were i won't be why did you really send for me?
KEKE/D1-we would just like to send out a message to everyone out there,so that they will know we are still here and we would like to discuss our plans for the future with you,maybe you can add 1 or 2 things.
9JAHIPHOP-what plans are we talking about here,expansion,management,new artistes or deals?
KEKE/D1-no,just new additions to the kennis music family.we have got a lot of artistes coming on board soon,we are doing it big for the 09,a kennis music takeover is in the works.
9JAHIPHOP-great.who have you signed?
KEKE/D1-we have not signed anybody yet,but these are our plans.we want to sign bigiano,sheyman & deebee.
9JAHIPHOP-what is it with you guys and mediocre artistes,with all due respect,you can't sign these guys at this point in time.
KEKE-what of dj zeez?
9JAHIPHOP-NO!!that will make you guys look desperate and will cost you too much money that can't be recouped.
KEKE/D1-what about psquare?they will definitely be a good addition to our roster.
9JAHIPHOP-i know what you are thinking,psquare is not plantashun boiz,peter won't leave paul & vice versa.they are twins for God's sake.
D1-no,i meant signing them both as psquare.
9JAHIPHOP-frankly speaking,i don't think that is possible,there is really nothing you can do for them that they can't do themselves but in life anything is possible.if you can pull it off,that will be the coup de grace.those boys are the lionel messi & christian ronaldo of the naija music industry.
KEKE-so what do we do?
9JAHIPHOP-i can see that you guys are confused,so i will help you out here.first of all,we have to sack your A&R's,cos i don't know what they were doing when 9ice was there for the taking.before 9ice blew up,you could have had him for 2 mil.wait,do you have A&R's
KEKE/D1-what do you mean by A&R's
9JAHIPHOP-never mind we will discuss that later.right now we have to do some downsizing on your label.everyone else has to go except kelly hansome & KSB. in football terms,these are your summer transfer targets-yemi sax,durella,kaha,lord of ajasa,faze,eldee,cyrus da virus,M.I,M.P,oluwe,id cabasa,terry g & jeremiah gyang.
KEKE/D1-what about timaya?he is quite talented.
9JAHIPHOP-not really necessary except just to secure our movements in the niger delta region.
KEKE-i want us to sign 2shotz
9JAHIPHOP-2shotz can't be signed,he has been independent for so long and will be difficult to control.he looks real smart to me.
KEKE-if we can't get ajasa,should we go for da grin
9JAHIPHOP-NO!!!da grin still has a long way to go,you don't want to be stuck with another slam,do you?
KEKE-absolutely not.
9JAHIPHOP-will i be asking for too much if i asked for asa?
KEKE-no,but can it be done?
9JAHIPHOP-why ask me?i should be asking you,i don't know how deep your pockets are.
D1-what about omawunmi?
9JAHIPHOP-that will be risky business,what you need to do after signing all those artistes i talked about is damage control,you reach out to tony tetuila,marvellous benjy,tuface & invite them for your shows & act like you like them even if you don' that they will have good things to say about you guys wherever they go.take care of your online presence(website,myspace,facebook e.t.c).get in touch with soundcity & nigezie to make sure your videos are in full rotation and everything is a go.
KEKE/D1-we forgot to ask you about wahu?won't it be nice to have her with us or at least handle the Nigerian aspect of her business?
9JAHIPHOP-Wahu is quite good but you guys need to forget about ghana,west africa,east africa & south africa for can't be winning outside & taking heavy losses at more thing you need to do is give your artistes freedom,for example if eldee wants to start trybe records again,you allow him but you make sure he keeps it under the kennis music umbrella(trybe records/kennis music) and for id cabasa(coded tunes/kennis music).so any new artistes dropping on his label will also be contracted to you.

your roster will look like this:

Eldee/Id cabasa/Terry g/Jeremiah gyang(producers cum artistes)-they will act as your in house producers and will also be dropping albums of their own.

Yemi sax-very important and very easy to maintain.with a full roster,all he has to do is make jazz versions of hits from your artistes & his album is ready.did i forget to mention that he is capable of doing this yearly.

M.I/Lord of ajasa/Cyrus da virus-apart from dropping great rap albums,they will be protecting your artistes from ruggedman like attacks(ehen palaver).

Kelly hansome/Durella/Kaha/M.P/Faze-they will take care of your popular demand needs.with people like this,you can compete with the likes of dbanj,wande coal,tuface,bigiano e.t.c

Oluwe-for something new & refreshing.

M.i(centre forward)
lord of ajasa/eldee(left/right wing)
durella/faze(attacking midfielders)
m.p(defensive midfielder)
kelly hansome/jeremiah gyang(left/right backs)
terry g/id cabasa(centre backs)
yemi sax(goalkeeper)

SUBSTITUTES-oluwe/kaha/cyrus da virus

KEKE/D1-wow!!!!that looks good,thank you for your time and we hope .....
9JAHIPHOP-what is that noise in the background,must be my alarm,it's 6 a.m,gotta go to work.
sorry folks,it was all a dream.

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