Thursday, August 20, 2009

NOBODY IS SMILING

To say that most naija artistes are rich and living large is stating the obvious,but the fact is that this affluent lifestyle is not limited to the artistes alone.record label owners,CEOs,marketers,producers,video directors,make up artistes, DJs,presenters,dancers etc are all enjoying the fruits of the booming music industry.to cut a long story short,lets just say that the entertainment industry is the new crude oil and everyone is desperately tapping it and living off it.so how do we explain the popular catch phrase/cliche "nobody is smiling" presently used by those in the entertainment world.

If you mingle with people in the entertainment or music biz like i do,you must have heard that line.for the uninitiated when someone says nobody is smiling it means that things are not going well/pepper no rest/ground no level.how can someone in the music biz right now tell me that nobody is smiling?what do they take me for?iam not very good at mathematics but i know how to count money and iam not blind.lets just take a look at the present highest earners in the music biz.

Banky w-etisalat/royalties/guest appearances/shows
Dbanj-hitv/glo/powerfist/royalties(RUNDOWN,CV,THE ENTERTAINER,MUSHIN 2 MOHITS)/shows
Don jazzy-production/royalties(RUNDOWN,CV,THE ENTERTAINER,MUSHIN 2 MOHITS)/mo hits records
Wande coal-royalties(CV,MUSHIN 2 MOHITS)/guest appearances/shows
P square-royalties(ALL ALBUMS)/shows
9ice-royalties(GONGO ASO)/guest appearances/shows
Timaya-royalties(TRUE STORY,GIFT & GRACE)/guest appearances/shows
M.I-royalties(TALK ABOUT IT)/guest appearances/shows
Dj zeez-royalties(O4KASIBE)/shows
Tuface-royalties(UNSTOPPABLE)/guest appearances/shows
Olu maintain-royalties(RELOADED)/shows
DJ tee-videos
Clarence peters-capitol records/videos
Kenny ogungbe-kennis music
Dayo adeneye-kennis music
Obi asika-storm records

All the people mentioned above are multi millonaires(confirmed).Dj tee & clarence peters charge a milli upwards for a video.wande coal got paid 10 million for mushin 2 mohits by dbanj & don jazzy.timaya got paid 19 million for his last album by his marketer,owns a fleet of cars and is cool with empress njamah.so what are you trying to tell me?take for example an upcoming artiste like klever jay or deebee on the strength of one hit charge above a 1oo grand per show(they perform for 30 minutes or 1 hour).lets do the maths,if they get at least 4 shows per month(which is impossible & ridunkulous).they will be earning 400 grand per month which is more than your next door neighbour who works in chevron earns per month.more than the average shell or schlumberger worker earns monthly.bankers and doctors work their asses off from am to pm and get paid less than what these artistes are paid for a 20-30 minutes performance.if these guys are not smiling then they must be laughing.

Even with marketers enjoying the major proceeds from album sales,artistes get to recoup from endorsements & shows.if the music biz was not good,artistes like eldee,sauce kid,mp,shank,banky w e.t.c won't leave yankee/JD and come back home.(don't let nobody fool you,these guys didn't do it for the love of hip hop).without all these artistes there will be no soundcity or nigezie,hip hop world will not be hosting any awards and there will be no MTN yellow carpet or virgin Nigeria sponsorship.(FYI-hiphop world magazine now comes out yearly).

Iam not hating on you guys,i just think you guys should be more grateful & contented with what you have and what you have achieved.what if you were not in the music biz & you were one of the millions of unemployed graduates in naija,what will you do?telling me nobody is smiling is like trying to play on my intelligence and i don't like that.when i ask you how is business or how are you doing?a simple we thank God will do.don't mope at me and tell me nobody is smiling(i won't find it amusing).nobody is smiling ko,nobody is crying ni!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

THE INCREDIBLE BLUNDER

The rap game is similar to a chess game.in chess you have to keep your eyes open and time your moves.a simple mistake can cost you dearly & greediness can be disastrous.every piece on the board is important but you must be able to gauge their respective importance as the game proceeds,the little pawn you overlook might eventually became a queen,the sluggish knight might become your waterloo & the limited bishop might trap you.the reason why iam saying this is just to get a message across to MI.ever since mi dropped "somebody is about to die" i have not been able to shake the feeling that it is his career that is about to die.here is my letter to mi.......

Dear mr incredible,
How are you doing and how is choc city,i hope you are enjoying your new found fame?the question is how long do you want it to last,because it clearly looks like you do not cherish your new status as naija's finest.don't let people decieve you.you are not the best(at least not yet).what you should be doing right now is trying to move out of your comfort zone and take your game to the next level.while the hip hop heads might be feeling you,the average Nigerian music lover is not.you don't have a certified hit yet(on a kini big deal level) and your album wasn't even a classic.
Dissing iceberg slim was the height of stupidity,more like putting the cart before the horse.if you were dissing eldee,ruggedman,modenine,2shotz or naeto c that would have been different,at least these are people who have fanbases that can be hijacked.iceberg slim has no fan,he is a nobody.you were supposed to ignore him.just because you are lyrically sound and talented and you are better than most of your peers(when rhyming in english) doesn't give you the liberty to go at anybody anyhow.this nigga is way beneath you.you had the rap album of the year,your career is on track and chocolate city is blowing up,why do you want to fuck it up right now?iceberg has nothing to lose while you have everything to lose.what is wrong with you?
You might think you are better than everybody else but that is far from the truth.i have listened to your album and your mixtape and i know that you can be defeated in a battle(easily).for every great artiste in the world there is always a better one waiting in the shadows.lyrically iam way better than you(true story!!!even if you don't believe it) and i know there are other people like me out there.what if iceberg is someone like me?then you would have succeeded in destroying your own career with your own hands.before you released "somebody is about to die",nobody including yours truly knew who iceberg was,but now you have given him unnecessary publicity & credibility(are you happy now?).all he has to do now is drop a mixtape & a solid album and its a wrap for you.isn't there someone in your camp who can give you good advice(jesse jags & co).
What you should have done was let iceprince go at him(that's why you have weed carriers),you could have ghostwritten the reply and stayed behind the scene,that way you might even blow up iceprince.i have been in this game for so long that i can recognize a mistake when i see one.

-what if iceberg gets the backing of mode9,terry da rapman,illbliss,sauce kid,cyrus da virus & vector?even with kel on your side,you will get run over.(naija's version of ja rule vs 50 cent,eminem,dr dre,dmx,busta rhymes,obie trice,g-unit,d-12)

-what if iceberg gets signed to mo hits,kennis music or storm records?

-what if the media blows it out of proportion?

jude,my advice for you is to back off before it gets ugly,stop making a mountain out of a molehill cos when shit hits the fan,all these rappers claiming to be your friends will not come to your aid.a word is enough for the wise.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

TALK IS CHEAP 4

I think it is too early for another talk is cheap installment but things are happening so fast and i can't wait.i hear a lot of things and i just have to talk.if you see or know something please say it.

MUSIC TALK
I heard that yes records(i don't even know them) have signed I.D cabasa,steel,jah bless,gxploits & angellica.

Newest addition to the naija music industry J.I(jim iyke) is starting a clothing line called untamed.

P square will be dropping an album soon(september is what i heard)

Kc presh have also thrown their hat into the corporate maga ring,they now have something called the sionkpo talent hunt.(times must be hard)

There are unconfirmed reports that ace producer paul play is suffering from cancer.(i pray it ain't so)

Iam hearing rumors that NBC (Nigerian banning corporation) might ban bigiano's shayo & wande coal's bumper to bumper.(banning by popular demand?)

VIDEO TALK
I must be a very difficult person to please cos iam not really feeling wande coal's "bumper to bumper" video.don't get me wrong,its just not what i expected.i hope he gets it right with "taboo".although iam grateful he released the video this year and not 2010.one video i actually like is kel's "too fine" featuring alaye & may d.the concept for that video was great.

For those who care to know,here are the winners of the soundcity music video awards 2009.

Best Male Video
• Naeto C – Kini Big Deal

Best Female Video
• TY Bello – Ekundayo

Best Choreography
• P-Square – Roll It

Best Special Effect Editing
• Dipp – Dangerous

Best Cinematography
• Bigiano – Shayo

Best Hip Hop
• Str8buttah – Last Standing

Best R&B or Pop Video
• Darey - Not the girl

Best Duo/Group Video
• P-Square – Roll It

Best Collaboration in a Music Video
• Tuface Idibia ft. Sound Sultan – Enter The Place

Soundcity Viewers Choice
• Bigiano – Shayo

Soundcity Fresh Video
• Steel – South African Girl

Discovery of the year
• Kel - Waa Wa Alright

Hit Producer of the Year (as used in a music video)
• “Suddenly” by D’banj (Don Jazzy)

African Video of the Year
• 340ML (Mozambique)

Best Video
• Tuface - Enter The Place

IN THE NEWS
Someone please tell kel to send me an advanced copy of her album "the investment".iam no jack sparrow,the only thing i will do is listen to it and review it.

they say it is lonely at the top,iam feeling it right now.iam all alone up here,where are the other bloggers?if you have or know a blog dedicated to naija music,holla at me.

Friday, August 7, 2009

MISSING IN ACTION - NIGERIAN RAPPERS

The people at www.allhiphop.com just did a feature on african artistes so i thought i would bring it to your attention.not one Nigerian rap artiste was mentioned.(am i the only one who thinks this is bad).they had K’Naan,Tumi and the Volume & M.anifest on the list but no rapper from NIgeria.someone please ask modenine what's up with his african movement thing.it is not right when Asa is the only one been noticed in Nigeria especially in a category meant for rappers.the feature was written by a Nigerian (Tolu Olorunda) which might explain Asa's inclusion.whoever he/she is must have been feeling bad that naija artiste were not getting enough exposure and just out of love for the motherland slotted in Asa's name.
here is what they had to say about Asa.click here for the full story


“You suppress all my strategy/ You oppress every part of me/ ... You don’t care about my point of view/ If I die another will work for you/”


—Asa, “Jailer,” Asa, 2008.


“Tell me, who’s responsible for what we teach our children?/ Is it the internet or the stars on television?/ … So little Lucy turns sixteen and like the movie she's been seeing/ She has a lover in her daddy/ She can't tell nobody till she makes the evening news/”


—Asa, “Fire on the Mountain,” Asa, 2008.

If you’ve never heard of Asa, walk away in shame—hands-over-eyes. Now, Asa, the Paris-born, Nigeria-raised singer/songwriter isn’t exactly what you would consider “Hip-Hop,” but her smooth, eclectic melody, fused with thought-arousing lyrics, is sure to seduce even the most back-pack, hardcore Hip-Hop aficionado. Asa, partly inspired by the late Hip-Hop legend J Dilla, is sure to secure the same amount of buzz in the Hip-Hop community that she has found in other genres like Soul.

When she sings, you hear Bob Marley, you hear Femi Kuti, you hear Nina Simone, you hear Mahalia Jackson. She is musical dexterity and diversity in living color.

In Asa’s music, what most strikes the listener is her precision and accuracy. No note is hit imprecisely and no chord is misplayed. She is a meticulous musician, who ingrains in every listener a sense that popular music might not be facing the death rattles many, including the writer of these words, had long predicted.

Her self-titled album was recently released on Na├»ve records, and the raving reviews couldn’t be more assuring for this young, genial genius-in-the-making.

Perhaps it’s my nationalistic nature crying out, but I can see Asa number one on the billboard charts sometime soon.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

FLEXGATE-THE TUFACE/R.KELLY SCANDAL

What is flexgate?when i say flexgate iam refering to the tuface & r.kelly collabo fiasco.
how did flexgate happen?the story is that prior to the release of unstoppable 2baba had been diagnosed with a disease which we will call flexzheimers or parkinflex disease(i think i will go with flexzheimers) but decided to keep it from the general public.before you ask me what flexzheimers disease means i will define it for you.

flezheimers is a disease condition whereby an artiste in his quest to evolve beyond the average artiste tries to do something spectacular but in failing to do so decides to take a short cut to achieve his goals by decieving his fans into believing he has something special when he actually doesn't.

3 things tuface could have done with flex to avoid embarrassment
1.flex should have been on the enter the place EP and not on unstoppable(then it would have been safe to say you featured r.kelly and later claim that it was just a song you did for a mixtape)

2.flex should have been an unlisted bonus track on unstoppable(something extra for your fans and you could have done without all that unnecessary promotion of flex like it was your lead single)

3.flex should have been on unstoppable but without the words featuring r.kelly(you don't have to tell us it is r.kelly,we all recognise kellz voice.think of cassidy's "iam a hustla" and ti's "bring them out",they never said featuring jay z cos they knew all they did was sample his voice)

Unstoppable was a mature tuface,all he needed to make the album great was just cameos from 9ice,dbanj & m.i.then beats from paul play & don jazzy.if he really wanted to step outside the shores of naija for a cameo,he should have gone for someone his own size like mario,lloyd,trey songz,omarion,or j.holiday and he would have actually featured them cos they are affordable.if he was searching for a rapper ace hood,maino,glasses malone or wale would do just fine.if he was looking for big name artistes,akon,nas,fat joe,ja rule or sean kingston would have helped him.they are the few superstars who i know are favourably inclined to working with african artistes.akon might even do it for free(he is always ready to help out a brother).

Things might look gloomy for 2baba right now but the situation can still be salvaged.here are some possible solutions.
-he can give an interview/series of interviews in any newsprint or magazine to set the record straight.
(this will only work if he never at any point in time claimed to have featured/worked with r.kelly and live tv interviews will not work cos the presenters will ask him some silly questions & he might end up giving sillier answers)
-drop a classic album before the year runs out to shut the haters up.(get into the studio ASAP & drop something really hot,if possible feature a big name artiste for real)
-start an NGO or open an orphanage for motherless babies.(the general public might focus their attention on your good deeds and forget flexgate.NOTE:might is the keyword here)

Artistes do things like this everyday,so why is tuface's case so special.i guess the general public never really expected him to do something as stupid as this.i just hope he survives this and comes out a better artiste.

Monday, August 3, 2009

TALK IS CHEAP 3

Talk is truly cheap,just look at how easy it is for me to talk about the songs iam listening to,the videos iam watching and what is happening all around me.

MUSIC TALK
Heard that T.W.O(tunde & wunmi obe) are about to quit the music biz.

when you think of the worst song of the year,look no further than diamond's "bo sokoto" featuring obesere.that song is totally senseless.

Olu maintain's next album is titled "with all due respect,press play"(its nice to see that diddy still has fans)

Naeto c has a new single "ako mi ti poju" which iam kind of feeling.still hoping his album drops before the year runs out.

VIDEO TALK
You guys will have to pardon me for this,i never really liked artquake's alanta & deebee's collabo so i won't even talk about their videos.

By now y'all must have watched the highly anticipated "gongo aso" video and the not so anticipated "gbono feli feli" video.were these videos worth the wait,i don't think so.i mean the only reason an artiste should delay his/her video is to take the time to shoot something spectacular or eye catching.in the case of dbanj it is really hard to picture him as a secret agent and what was he really trying to tell the viewers by disappearing at the end of the video.to be frank that video was poor,great idea,poor execution.

Darey Art Alade has been selected as the host for the 2009 Sound City Music Video awards.

IN THE NEWS
It is official!!!!!!iam the news,i get hits from 58 countries worldwide,so i guess it is safe to say that ori mi ti fokasibe,but come to think of it.what are Nigerians doing everywhere.is there a country in this world where naija people are not running things.well,do what you do(hustle hard,ko ere oko wale),just don't do anything that will tarnish the image of the country.

Imagine the pied piper of R&B came to naija courtesy of thisday and the only thing people could talk about was tuface not performing on stage with him and how kellz denied him(not thrice o!!!).even though i reserve my comment on this one.the fact is tuface takes a big L on this.he needs to tender an apology to his fans for misleading them or just say something to clear the air.
note to freestyle:shelve that t-pain collabo