MICHEAL JACKSON - THE INVINCIBLE,THE IMMORTAL

"The true worth of a man is not measured by what he does for himself but by what he does for someone else".

A couple of days ago,as i turned on my radio,i heard "speechless" and i was actually speechless just thinking of how great the song was.i never knew that was the last time i would hear a micheal jackson song while he was still alive.incase you have not heard,pop idol michael jackson just died at UCLA after slumping in his los angeles home from a cardiac arrest.this has to be the greatest tragedy since 9/11.To say michael was a superstar will be an understatement.in the musical world,he was a god.his 1982 album "THRILLER" still holds the record for being the highest selling album of all time.a very big achievement and a record that might never be broken.It is really quite sad to see the great M.J pass away,and millions of fans nation wide will still be reeling from the shock of his untimely death.there is never a good time to die but it would have been great if he had succeded in getting his career back on track.my sincere condolences goes to the jackson family(janet,tito,e.t.c) cos i know it like they know that there will never be another michael.

I don't usually deal with news outside the shores of Nigeria but it is the legendary michael jackson we are talking about here.the whole world might not come to a standstill but it will be shaken to his foundations.it will be great if he is remembered only for his musical achievements and contribution to music globally and not for his cosmetic surgeries & child molestation cases.a lot of questions will arise to the state of his health at the time of his death.medications,stress,e.t.c might be attributed to the cause of his death but i believe it was the thought of never achieving thriller status again that killed him.he knew he could never make another album that will surpass it and he desperately wanted to.

One thing we must remember as human beings is that death is a certainty.no matter who you are,where you are or what you do,a time wll come when it will all pass to nothingness.just stop and ask yourself this question:when you die how many will mourn you & how long will they mourn you.

In Nigeria,political office holders and power brokers want to have quintillion & zillion dollars,but they keep forgetting that these things will not go to heaven or hell with them as the case may be.you will not be remembered for the houses you built or the cars you buy,you will be remembered only for your deeds.it is only your deeds while you were alive that can guarantee you invincibility & immortality.Michael jackson may be dead to the world but he remains alive to us and we will keep him in our hearts forever.

M.J-invincible,forever immortal
R.I.P MICHEAL,you were always the best.

I STILL KNOW THE FUTURE

Someone hollered at me the other time like i thought you knew the future,those books written by Nigerian artistes are yet to be on the shelves?i said "what do you know my friend,i still know the future".macmillan & kachifo might not be giving out deals but that has not stopped your favorite artistes,actors,actresses & execs from writing books.these are the books lined up for release in the nearest future.

Paul play- In the name of my father

Kelly handsome- Getting the maga of your dreams

Sasha- Wifey by force

Naeto c- Sucker for love

GT da guitarman- When dreams don't come true

Durella-
Tales out of the zanga
Wiskolowiska-the zanga chronicles

M.I- The incredible short boy & other stories

Modenine- The life & rhymes of modenine

Ruggedman-
Me against the world
Beef-recipe for disaster

Ibinabo fiberesima-
Locked up-A true story
Life behind these bars

Funke akindele-
Jenifa lingua
Gbogbo biz girls-for every aspiring biz girl

Stella damascus- To love again

Hassanat taiwo(Wunmi)- Cocaine cowgirl

Dayo adeneye- Live & die with the ogungbes

TALK IS CHEAP

MUSIC TALK
It has been a great month so far,musically things are looking real good.illbliss just dropped his highly anticipated album and beazy(whom many of you may not know) just dropped his mixtape "get money,stay fly".that shit is banging,i play it everyday.but unfortunately it is copy protected so i can't share it with you guys.i would have said you should go and grab a copy but it ain't for sale(at least not yet,i got an advance copy).since i have been thinking of doing album reviews,i might just review it or review illbliss's album.it would be a privilegde for any one of them to be the first album to be reviewed on my blog.

VIDEO TALK
I just watched m.i's "safe" video and i was impressed,big ups to the little man(keep it coming).if you haven't watched that video yet please endeavor to do so right here.speaking of videos,here is a list of my highly anticipated videos.these are great songs that i can't stop imagining what the visuals would look like.
-Taboo-wande coal
-gongo aso-9ice(overdue)
-big boy-eldee(naija's swagga like us)
-fokasibe-dj zeez
-fall in love-d banj

if i get to watch all these videos these month,june will go down in history as the best month in 09.

IN THE NEWS
Ikechukwu got dropped from storm records
-contrary to what you have been hearing,i got info that ikechukwu was dropped by storm records due to poor album sales.i heard they were finding it hard to recoup off killz,so they had to let him go.i wouldn't be suprised if storm put in a major bid to sign M.I.

Amplifyd breaking up
-is this good or bad news,can't really place it but i am not suprised,ever since they dropped that girl,i knew it was just a matter of time before they all went their seperate ways.

Ikechukwu moving to mo hits
-like we didn't see this coming.

Before i go,here is the follow up to the firing & probation posts,this one is for those who failed our company test woefully and would not be hired anytime soon..
1.justina
2.k-switch
3.d-prince
4.alabai
5.m trill

Note:applicants are allowed to re-apply at a later date when we believe they would have improved on their individual skills.

BANNED BY POPULAR DEMAND - THE WAY OUT

There are rules to everything in life,there is a way you are expected to behave in every situation.for example you can't go to a job interview wearing an arsenal or manchester united jersey(chelsea fans won't do that),in the same vein you can't go for an introduction wearing rag jeans,a faded t shirt & a doorag/bandanna,that way your prospective in laws start thinking you specialise in bullion vans or you are a clearing and forwarding agent.in both cases you don't get the desired results.the question now is,how do you keep your videos/songs from getting banned?tricky question isn't it?fortunately for you guys,i met with the head honchos at Nigerian banning corporation(new name for NBC) and this is what they told me....

Do not use the word body/booty too much in a song.
-lines like "i like your booty or i want your body" are unacceptable.whatever you do,don't want anyone's body/booty.vulgarity is not acceptable.

Wait for a year before you shoot your videos(does not apply to debutants)
-the top guns don't listen to your songs but they might watch your videos.so by the time you shoot your videos,you would have sold all what you could possibly sell and banning your songs won't affect you.

Never name your song unconventionally,try & keep it simple(don't give it a name only you will understand)
-for example tongolo,wiskolowiska,konga e.t.c NBC peeps don't like looking ignorant.

keep your song off the top ten countdowns.
-i know this might sound weird,but if you have a lewd song keep it off the top ten charts.the bosses don't listen to your album,they only listen to the top ten.

Get a secretive marketer.
-once your marketer or official pirate announces that your sales have hit the one million plus mark,chances are high that your ist single might get banned.not everyone likes success.

Keep your personal life out of your music.
-you can F**k all the african queens you can lay your hands on,just don't talk about it in your song.

No crime or gang related music.
-if bunkering,yahoo or 19 is your side hustle,don't make a song about it.you will not only get banned,you might end up in jail as well.
-if ade bendel or asari dokubo is your cousin,uncle,friend e.t.c don't mention it.

Keep endorsement deals on the downlow.
-if any multinational company is offering you mouth watering endorsements,don't make unnecessary noise about it.

Make a radio edit/radio version.
-if you really have to go all out,make a radio version of your hit song where the bad parts will be censored.

When shooting videos,go easy on the girls.
-it is always good to have eye candy in your video,but not too much.make sure your video vixens keep their clothes on & no unnecessary touching/smooching.whatever you do,do not pull anyone's g-string or thong(that can wait till after the shoot).

while NBC is sanitising and rebranding the Nigerian music industry,feel free to express yourself(sensibly)

BANNED BY POPULAR DEMAND

Recently the NBC(Nigerian broadcasting corporation) banned some songs and videos from being broadcasted in Nigeria,and everybody was like why are they banning this or that song.when i first heard i thought it was a publicity stunt from NBC,just to remind us that they still exist or they were just showing off,but it turns out they were banning by popular demand.The fact is they don't just ban songs for no reason,if your song got the axe then something is definitely wrong with your song.the only thing wrong is that these songs & videos were banned six months or in some cases a year after the release,it makes you wonder what the hell they were doing since(that is naija for you).before we look at songs & videos recently banned,lets check out the earlier works banned in Nigeria.

Bang,bang,bang-Femi kuti
Kerewa-Zule zoo
Baby konga-konga

SONGS/VIDEOS THAT JUST GOT BANNED

Dance for me-Duncan mighty
The problem with duncan mighty is that he keeps forgetting he is in Nigeria.all that stuff he does might be acceptable in Jamaica but definitely not acceptable here.

Enter the place-Tuface
If tuface was still on kennis,this wouldn't have happened!there is really nothing bad about enter the place(video & audio).the only thing i suspect warranted this was that particular line where he said"girl,i wan make you let me enter the place,make we see whether you no go carry belle too".i always knew that was gonna get him in trouble.

Maga don pay-Kelly hansome
Maga don pay=crime pays.funny enough,they never banned yahoozee.kelly's song pales in comparison to the gulliest track repping naija's bad side(osuofia's "i go chop your dollar").the only thing wrong with this track is its blatant promotion of internet fraud.

Suddenly-D banj
This one should have been banned from day 1.this was dbanj at his best making a hit song the only way he knows.dbanj & mohits special hit recipe-you make a good song then sprinkle it with a little bit of lewdness.that o** yato si o** line was outrageous(too raw).

Close to you-Mo hits
This one must have been banned because of that gbadun koboko line.in reality that was a bit disgusting,it is clear to see that d banj doesn't really have much to offer in terms of lyrical content.

Rigi Rigi & Nwa baby-Flavours
These songs definitely deserved to be banned,but they had to do this to make it look like they weren't picking on popular artistes.if flavour wasn't there it would look way too suspicious.

Question:was banning all these popular songs a way to make money?
Maybe they were just thinking like:look at dbanj,that boy is eating glo money & banky is swimming in etisalat money but they ain't reaching out to us.we need to get a piece of the action.(just kidding)
but let's look on the bright side,this will make most of the artistes step up their writing game e.g Dbanj,maybe from now on,they will start taking time to compose their songs and stop feeding the masses wobbish.

SONGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN BANNED.(NTBB)

1.Bobbee fc-Dj zeez
Personally i love this song but that doesn't change the fact that it is bad.bobbee what!!!!you can't be serious.

2.Yahoozee-Olu maintain
Like the yoruba's say "ofin to mu elegun,lo mu eleha".if maga don pay gets banned,yahoozee must go"

3.Hotter than fire-Sheyman/dr pat
Sheyman was using Dbanj's special hit recipe here and it worked for him.does this guy think we were born yesterday,who doesn't know what kondo olopa means.

4.E dey pain-zule zoo
Zule zoo should be banned for at least a year.these guys are getting worse by the hour.what exactly do you want to remove that is manageable?

5.Sensimilla-Mad melon & mountain black
The greatest weed song to ever come out of Nigeria.(sorry m.i,blaze was too weak).this song was an inspiration back then,even if you were not a smoker,you will feel like smoking weed after listening to this song.

6.Booty call-Mo hits all stars
D banj & friends are always guilty as charged when it comes to things like this.dem no dey carry last.can't really blame them as the foundation of mo hits record was built on lewd lyrics(tongolo).

7.Wine am for me-Piper/terry g
The visual for this song was neither easy on the eyes nor on the mind,that pouring water from the roof to make it look like rain scene was overboard.

8.Egbami oh-Jahborne/W4
When you start singing "open your kolo make i enter".something has to be done about it.isn't there something else to sing about.

Funny enough,all these crimes are commited by male artistes(what have the girls done to deserve this),i wonder how they will feel when a female artiste makes the naija version of how many licks or one minute man.

Personally iam tired of hearing these artistes talking but not making any sense.they are supposed to be leading by example but most of them lack creativity and sense of direction.so in all fairness,let us applaud & support NBC's operation banning by popular demand.i think they are striking the shepherd to make the sheep scatter.

CORPORATE MAGA-THE REAL YAHOOZEE

What iam about to say will hurt a lot of people but the truth has to be told,no matter how bitter it is.recently i was *55sixing my pangolo trying to see how much cheddar i had left,next thing i see is register for mtn project fame 2.i didn't even know they were still doing all these fake reality shows/talent hunt.do people still fall for this shit?you would think Nigerians will be wiser by now,but no,they prefer getting scammed day in day out.
all these shows are faker than a rolex bought in a traffic jam.ask yourself this question,has anyone ever blown up through this shows?no,nada!!!i make my money the hard way(i work for it),so i don't piss it away just like that.they say once beaten,twice shy but life is too short these days,you can't even afford been beaten once.

Nigerian are gullible(that's just the fact),that is why they keep falling for this corporate scamming thing.for example,in a normal country,a tv show like koko mansion will flop.how can you have a reality show where the participants are trying to be the ultimate kokolette,how stupid is that.a kokolette is the Nigerian version of a bitch or hoe.so basically in America it will be called hoe mansion,groupie castle or jumpoff paradise,not even BET will put up the money for that.it is so shameful that people will pay to be in this crappy shit.let me get to the musical ones cos if i should start with ultimate search today,i won't stop.

looking at all the runners up and winners from these musical tv shows,not one of them has had a great or successful career,so why are people still doing it.in the beginning they promise you heaven and earth and you end up not even getting a fraction of it.

STAR QUEST
2002-Kc presh-Still struggling to hold their own in the industry.
2004-D jewels-No where to be found.
2006-D accord-Absent.
2008-Diamonds-Missing in action.
2009-The pulse-???????????

I think the problem with star quest is this group thing.it is clearly not working as most participants were never in a group before but just came together for the show,thats why they end up going their seperate ways(all man for himself).

MTN PROJECT FAME
Inyanya Mbuk-AWOL

WEST AFRICAN IDOL
Timi dakolo-Where you at?

Omawunmi(runner up)-Really working so hard to carve a niche for herself in the industry.won 2 awards recently at HHWA 2009.how far she will go is yet to be determined.

The problem with project fame and west african idol is the emphasis been laid on singing abilities.you just have to be a singer to get their attention.why is R&B the key?,what happened to rap,reggae,fuji,afrobeat etc.

Corporate lies used in scamming the public
(1)You will get a record deal in the US or UK.
-Sony BMG or whatever label they mention will never sign you,i doubt if they even know these guys or know anything about the show.
(2)You will become a star and sell millions of records
-The only place you will be a star is your village & your hood.you won't sell millions of records cos you might end up never releasing an album.even if you release an album you will end up going double brick.
(3)You will become rich
-Hell no,affluence is not guaranteed cos all the money you win will be spent on your recordings(which won't sell).your money will also be spent on going places you don't want to be(awards,press conferences,shows,etc)& doing things you don't want to do(buying expensive clothes & accessories you don't need).

At the end of these shows,the organisers will be smiling to the bank singing kelly hansome's hit."our magas don pay,shout halleluyah" while the participants will be right back to square one.for once these guys should try & keep it real and actually make someone a star.

NB:iam really feeling dare art alade's the most underated show.it is totally cool.

FIRED UP-PROBATION LIST

Yes,people are getting fired.but the big question is,who is next to go in big brother naija hip hop's house.for the main time there will be no more firing,but it is always better to be prepared for anything & everything.so we have drafted a list of those who are next to go in the event of a sudden change in plans.artistes whose names appear on the list below have until december 31st,2009 to release new material(singles or album) or face the consequences.for now y'all will be on probation.

1.Freestyle
I am a great fan of yours,i love your music & what you do,but if by 31st of december you still haven't put anything out,i will not hesitate to fire you.i will just be doing my job,no hard feelings,all for the greater good.lest i forget that t-pain track doesn't count cos autotune just died.

2.Blackface
Let me briefly explain your situation to you.you are the kaboom & eddy montana of plantashun boiz.in case you are not getting it,what it means is that you are the only member of P boiz who is yet to blow up.since "hard life",you have gradually faded away and you got to the lowest point of your career with that p square beat.

3.Ruff,rugged & raw
Guys,wetin dey now.nothing from you all these while.hope say you know scores sha!.by 31st of december,we will show you the door.

4.Paul Play
Bros,whatever you do,don't make any of daddy's song again.we will understand if you can't continue .unless you have something really hot,just retire before you get fired.do not destroy all what you did with hitsville.

5.Rayan T
Something don dey par o.......!!!

6.Morachi
I am thinking of writing something about one hit wonders,now guess who will be no 1 on the list?you guessed right(YOU).

7.Konga
A widi wede wedi wende,logo mi di kein kein,shogo di gi(whatever).i guess you didn't understand anything i just said(good),now you know how we feel whenever you get on the mic.i will be very suprised if you can come out with anything before D-day.ama ti e bota!!!!!.a-konga,b-konga,i-ita,f-fired(i can't wait).

8.African China
Too bad,Nigerians were vaccinated before your london fever came out(tough luck).seriously nobody wants to know whether you raped that girl or not.your personal life is none of our business.i just wanted to use this opportunity to inform you that by the end of this year,you might not even have a job people will laugh at.

9.Terry da Rapman
We know it ain't easy busting 16s but at the same time,its not that difficult.you are slipping badly my friend.if you love your work,get in the studio ASAP.

10.OD
If you like rap like say you dey for jands or yarn something wey all man fit understand.the main thing na say make you rap something.time is running out.

FIRED UP-EXCESS BAGGAGE

"If Nigerian hiphop should die before we wake,
we will have only ourselves to blame"

There is a global recession like we all know,people are losing money everywhere and companies are folding up worldwide.it turns out naija hip hop is not immune to the recession.lets look at naija hip hop as a company and in this scenario iam the C.E.O.the only way to save naija hip hop incorporated from going under or folding up as the case may be is to take some drastic measures to counter the problems we are facing.the first step to take is to identify the problems.

The major problem we are facing is that people no longer buy our products(cds & vcds),personally i buy a lot of cds(lead by example) cos i can afford it,really how much is 100 naira,naija music is relatively cheap.but every now and then i think of all the good things i could have done with all the money wasted on buying these cds.some cds are so bad & useless you can't even give them out cos most naija artistes make trashcan music or rara music(listen once,throw it in the dustbin like pure water sachets).if i was offered some naija albums for 20 naira nowadays,i will have to think about it seriously(i just don't want to mention names).

So in view of that,i have decided to do some downsizing & downcutting.iam looking at those who are redundant and are no longer of use to our company.so to all those that will be affected we wish you all the best in your future endeavors.you have all done a great job but right now,our ideas and ideals are no longer aligned.

1.Obiwon-Its been a pretty long time you have done anything meaningful,i hate to be the one to tell you this but "onyinye" was wack and you would have been better off in your former job.take heart,zenith bank is still hiring.YOU ARE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!

2.OJB-What actually happened to you,you had a bright future.you were working in our production department and you even showed flashes of brilliance in our vocal department.like i told you back then you should have given "searching" to tuface(he would have done a better job).making rick ross your new role model shows that you have lost focus.I HEREBY TERMINATE YOUR APPOINTMENT!

3.C-Mion-When was the last time you had a hit?wait let me think.........NEVER.i think that says it all.cameo appearances does not count.YOU ARE FIRED!!!!!!!

4.Soul E-In your own case,you are a bad influence on your peers,you are very unstable.one minute you are an r&b artiste,the next minute you are an evangelist.what is wrong with you?i seriously don't think you have anything to offer this company anymore.YOU ARE FIRED!!!!!!!

5.Big Lo-You were never meant to be here in the first place.i don't really blame you,i blame 2shotz.you are suppossed to be in Alaba,Aba or Onitsha marketing cds or selling whatever it is you know how to sell.i don't want to see you here again.YOU ARE FIRED!!!!!!

6.Marvellous Benjy-It clearly looks like suo has gone the way of galala.initially we thought you had a marketable product(suo) but contrary to our expectations you went from top 10 to not mentioned at all.though you have succeeded in defrauding and decieving us,we have finally caught up with you.YOU ARE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!

7.Dr Sid-You!!!your own case is a special case.we did all we could for you but it all amounted to nothing.you went to da trybe,you were their weakest link(for crying out loud,da trybe is the harvard of naija rap).you are now in mohits where you should be shining like diamonds considering your background but you are struggling for recognition with people like D prince & K switch. instead of bowing out gracefully,you are intent on destroying all the goodwill left by da trybe.when exactly did you become a doctor?you are nothing but a quack,infact you are a criminal(impersonation of the highest order).I HEREBY TERMINATE YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT!!!!

8.Kenny st Brown-Madam,please sit down & lets talk.due to the relationship we have with your family,we will not be firing you like the others.that is not to say we are pleased with your work ethic.you are always late for work,you are never there when we need you & there has been a lot of complaints/petitions against you(you are not representing gospel artistes very well).did you really make a song with sheyman & da grin?(just curious).to cut a long story short,here is what you need to do for me.take a sheet of paper and write a letter of resignation right now.before you go let me give you a piece of advice,try and get a young gun to take very good care of you and you will be amazed at how soon you will forget about music(i hope you know what i mean).YOUR RESIGNATION LETTER BEFORE WE CLOSE FOR THE DAY!!!!!!

9.Dr Fresh-At this point in time,we have no need for doctors in this company,whether quack or real.the only problem we have with you is that you don't fit the company profile,you are not commited and age is no longer on your side.we are seriously in need of fresh faces.i guess i never told you this before but from my own point of view,you were never an heavy weight champion.YOU ARE F.I.R.E.D

10.Pastor Goody Goody-If you are a pastor,what gospel do you really preach?trick question-when was the last time you had a hit?never.like i said before cameos don't count.YOU ARE FIRED!!!!!

10.5.Mr kool-Mr kool sent in his resignation letter a month ago.he deprived me of the pleasure of saying that wonderful sentence(you are fired).see,i eventually said it.

If your name appears above.its not the end of the world.feel free to go to Ghana(hiplife)congo(soukous & makossa) or go to Sao tome & Principe and make whatever type of music they are making there.you are no longer wanted in Nigeria.thank you very much.

NOTE:if there is someone you feel we have overlooked,please kindly contact the management or call 080-U-ARE-FIRD.