Wednesday, June 10, 2009


There are rules to everything in life,there is a way you are expected to behave in every situation.for example you can't go to a job interview wearing an arsenal or manchester united jersey(chelsea fans won't do that),in the same vein you can't go for an introduction wearing rag jeans,a faded t shirt & a doorag/bandanna,that way your prospective in laws start thinking you specialise in bullion vans or you are a clearing and forwarding both cases you don't get the desired results.the question now is,how do you keep your videos/songs from getting banned?tricky question isn't it?fortunately for you guys,i met with the head honchos at Nigerian banning corporation(new name for NBC) and this is what they told me....

Do not use the word body/booty too much in a song.
-lines like "i like your booty or i want your body" are unacceptable.whatever you do,don't want anyone's body/booty.vulgarity is not acceptable.

Wait for a year before you shoot your videos(does not apply to debutants)
-the top guns don't listen to your songs but they might watch your by the time you shoot your videos,you would have sold all what you could possibly sell and banning your songs won't affect you.

Never name your song unconventionally,try & keep it simple(don't give it a name only you will understand)
-for example tongolo,wiskolowiska,konga e.t.c NBC peeps don't like looking ignorant.

keep your song off the top ten countdowns.
-i know this might sound weird,but if you have a lewd song keep it off the top ten charts.the bosses don't listen to your album,they only listen to the top ten.

Get a secretive marketer.
-once your marketer or official pirate announces that your sales have hit the one million plus mark,chances are high that your ist single might get banned.not everyone likes success.

Keep your personal life out of your music.
-you can F**k all the african queens you can lay your hands on,just don't talk about it in your song.

No crime or gang related music.
-if bunkering,yahoo or 19 is your side hustle,don't make a song about will not only get banned,you might end up in jail as well.
-if ade bendel or asari dokubo is your cousin,uncle,friend e.t.c don't mention it.

Keep endorsement deals on the downlow.
-if any multinational company is offering you mouth watering endorsements,don't make unnecessary noise about it.

Make a radio edit/radio version.
-if you really have to go all out,make a radio version of your hit song where the bad parts will be censored.

When shooting videos,go easy on the girls.
-it is always good to have eye candy in your video,but not too much.make sure your video vixens keep their clothes on & no unnecessary touching/smooching.whatever you do,do not pull anyone's g-string or thong(that can wait till after the shoot).

while NBC is sanitising and rebranding the Nigerian music industry,feel free to express yourself(sensibly)

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